China, plunderers of Africa and censors of Google, are doing more these days than appropriating our cultural artifacts and selling them back to us at dimestore prices. They may in fact be communicating with aliens.
Long the province of SETI, vanished civilizations, and Dan Aykroyd, humans have been trying to communicate with extraterrestrial life since they realized that the earth is not a flat endless expanse of land and ocean modestly draped by a blanket of clouds and stars. And who else is better poised to speak on our planet’s behalf than the world’s most populous nation?
Incredibly interesting geometric structures have mysteriously shown up in the Gobi Desert (and on Google Earth.) Sure, the headquarters of China’s space program is only 100 miles away. And the Ding Xin military airbase where China test its top secret aircraft is 400 miles away…but don’t these kind of, sort of, somewhat, resemble the Nazca Lines in Peru? Those lines, made by removing the red surface rocks and exposing the white ground underneath, have long been used as “evidence” by UFO fanatics and ancient technologies enthusiasts to prove that…I don’t know…aliens are real and anything is possible and mystery is still alive and well?
I sort of sympathize. And in that spirit, have concocted by own theory: The Chinese government, in its quest for more and more resources, has stumbled across an ancient series of scrolls in Africa that document visitations from extraterrestrial life. From these scrolls they’ve also discerned a way to communicate with the aliens. Following the precise directions of the scrolls, they’ve constructed an intergalactic communication device…and wait…
And now that I’ve inadvertently stumbled upon the truth (or at least something someone somewhere has an interest in taking as the truth), me and everyone who reads this post, will systematically be hunted down and killed. With this eventuality in mind, the best way to understand these images, or anything really, is by reading Umberto Eco.”Beware of faking,” he tells us in Foucault’s Pendulum, “people will believe you.” In his second novel, Eco has a team of bored academics working at a smallish vanity press in Italy to concoct a unifying theory of conspiracies: Knights Templar, The Elders of Zion, Cthulhu, crystals, everything. Problems begin arising when a mysterious person who may or may not be the Comte de Saint-Germain starts believing their story. After they start going missing, what’s to stop them from believing as well?
(Editor’s Note: The current whereabouts of Scott Beauchamp are unknown. The police are conducting an active investigation into his whereabouts and would like anyone with any information to please contact the New York Police Department Missing Persons Division. Scott is believed to be wearing silver gym shorts and a white t-shirt.)
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