Maybe it’s the sudden downturn in temperature in the Northeast, but at the moment I find myself with a raging case of Football Fever (soon to be replaced by Postseason Baseball Fever, and then, soon enough, Fever Fever). Either way, while suffering from this inexorable sickness, I decided to do some research on the football backgrounds of some famous authors. To say the least, I was SURPRISED by what I found.
Thomas Pynchon (L.A. Rams) – CB
During the 1965 season Pynchon recorded 16 interceptions. He claimed he got an erection moments before every deep pass, allowing him perfect position for the INT.
Zora Neale Hurston (Jacksonville Jaguars) – RB
Ran for 218 yards in a week 7 win over Romare Bearden’s Carolina Panthers.
JD Salinger (New York Titans) – S
Was cut from the team after he repeatedly lost the equipment bags, much to his own glee.
Walker Percy (New Orleans Saints) – QB
Wandered seriously, and briefly, around the backfield, before being pummeled by the defense. Was heard to say, “But to be neither pagan nor Christian but a quarterback: oh, this is a sickness”.
John Irving (New England Patriots) – DE
“In the world according to me, John Irving, they (the offense) are all terminal cases.”
Sherman Alexie (Seattle Seahawks) – WR
After his beloved Supersonics moved to Oklahoma City, Alexie, in desperation, began a pursuit of super bowl victory, to prove that it was indeed possible for a male Seattle team to win a championship. After an unsuccessful season, he now plays under the name Alexie Sherman for the Seattle Storm.
Saul Bellow (Chicago Bears) – K
“Not able to stand kindness at this time. Feeling, heart, everything in strange condition. Unfinished business. Missed game-winning field goal.”
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