Damn. It’s hot! Hot Hot Hot Hot! Some weird phenomena (heat) is gripping the northeast and I just can’t staaaaand it! Too hot! So hungry hot! Violent crime wave hot! Garbage can through window hot! Call grandma make sure everything’s-ok hot!
Must defeat this Heat. MUST BEAT THAT HEAT (A list).
1) Read (nap). You can try to read, and eventually nap, surrounded by a halo of sweat, dreaming about a colder future. Dream about slaying the sun with a popsicle sword.
2) This won’t really help, but watch this episode of the Twilight Zone. A young artist in New York City is stuck in her sweltering studio while the Earth tumbles closer to the sun. Difficult to relate to, yes?
3) Read about those who Beat The Heat, The Miami Heat that is. The 1999 New York Knicks did the job in spectacular fashion and you can read about their exploits in Just Ballin’. Most recently, the Dallas Mavericks did it thanks to this man.
4) Get naked. Just do it. No one’s around.
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