Happy Read an eBook Day, everyone! An offshoot of the festival of Alban Elfed, during which the Druids saw Light give way to Dark, #eBookDay is “a celebration of modern storytelling” and everything it has to offer. Though I, for one, will never get over the feel and smell of old-fashioned paper books, I have to admit that these six works are just plain better as eBooks.
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1. Good Tidings and Great Joy by Sarah Palin
Good Tidings and Great Joy is one of those books you just don’t want to put down, and with your Kobo Aura HD, you don’t have to. Kobo’s revolutionary ComfortLight technology allows you skip the lamp and read well into the wee hours without disturbing your wife’s beauty sleep — at least until you wake her up to hear this great idea for the Christmas season:
On our kitchen table, we place a candelabra and Hanukkah candles, as a way to acknowledge Christianity’s Judeo-Christian roots. See, I embrace diversity.
2. The Overton Window by Glenn Beck
Are you tired of the PC police seeing the name Glenn Beck on your books and interrupting you to tell you what a pig you are? Well with the OverDrive app on your sleek new Nokia Lumia 930 phone, that touchy feminista across the subway car won’t jerk a knee, allowing you to read masculine prose like this in peace:
Something about this woman defied a traditional chick-at-a-glance inventory. Without a doubt all the goodies were in the right places, but no mere scale of one to ten was going to do the job this time.
3. Our Character, Our Future by Alan Keyes
If you’re anything like me, you nearly ruined your physical copy dog-earing every other page of this classic by the man Ronald Reagan called “a living, breathing example of how this nation can change, adapt and grow.” But with your Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 Nook, you can bookmark and highlight to your heart’s content. Here’s a quote worth both:
If we’re going to have special legal protections for homosexuals, shouldn’t everybody else’s uncontrollable sexual orientations be protected? Shouldn’t adulterers, pedophiles, rapists, and other sorts of sexual aberrants be eligible for the same benefits?
4. Not Cool by Greg Gutfeld
Do you ever have a hard time figuring out when it’s okay for you to say the word blacks? Well worry no more — Greg Gutfeld has you covered. Sadly, his book Not Cool doesn’t have an index, but with the Google Play Books app on your Chromebook, all you have to do is click the search button:
Behaviors that are self-destructive at their core—criminality, illegitimacy, rejection of work—are not simply accepted, they are encouraged. And if these cool behaviors kill, as I believe they do, they kill nobody as much as they kill those who originally helped make cool ubiquitous: blacks.
5. Guardian of the Republic by Allen West (with Michele Hickford)
Did you know you can easily link your Kindle Paperwhite to Goodreads, Facebook, and Twitter to quickly share highlights and notes with all of your friends and fellow #TCOTs? Give it a shot! Here’s a line from former Florida Congressman Allen West that your friends are guaranteed to “like”:
What’s next? What type of gimmick will we rush to accept as a leader regardless of qualification, leadership, or principles? The first Hispanic president? The first gay president? The first transgender president? The first Muslim president? (Oh, wait …)
6. It Takes a Family by Rick Santorum
With so much garbage on the internet today, it’s no surprise that even the most traditional of men frequently stumbles across videos of lewd and lascivious acts while searching for car parts or anniversary gifts or even inspirational quotes by Rick Santorum. Use your iPad Air with Retina display to stem the tide of filth by pasting your favorite Santorum gems into a meme generator to make family-friendly viral content like this:
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Hmm — maybe these eBook things aren’t so bad after all! What do you think? Did I miss a book that you enjoyed reading in digital form? If so, let me know in the comments. Until next year, happy eReading!
Eric Jett is a writer, designer, and teacher from Charleston, WV. He is a founding editor of Full Stop.