Yeah, I’m in love with a woman and all my friends think she’s ugly.  They say her smile’s scary, her hair is dirty, and it’s really difficult to know what she’s on about sometimes.  Not that I really care what they think, beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that blah-blah, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all.  I want to go hang out with her, bring my friends, introduce them, and I guess I hope that they will understand what I see in her.  Does this just make me seem insecure?  I just want to show her off is all.

Sure, she isn’t the most refined woman in New York.  She’s a little rough around the edges, though I take offense when I hear someone say that she’s a complete mess.  I mean, come on, if we were all cut-and-dry, easily understood people, the world would be a plodding, boring place, right?  Personally, I love the way she can baffle and beguile at a glance, the way she can completely change my perspective on a dime.  It’s called character, and she’s got it.

I’ll admit, the first time I saw her, I was sort of put off.  I thought she came on a little strong, a little wild.  I thought there was something, I don’t know, fraudulent about her.  I guess I’m used to women who go for her kind of appeal but can’t really pull it off.  You know, the artsy ones that want you to think they’re so deep, but eventually you come to realize it’s all pretense, all a sham to impress the right people.  The ones out there to seem edgy and controversial, but once the controversy fades…

But the point is that first impressions can be wrong, mine as much as anyone’s.  Past the bravado and posture, I came to realize that this woman has a tender soul, a loving touch.  Sure, she knows how to shock, but underneath the showmanship there’s a real, living being, a woman who wants to be understood for herself.  She has a past, scars, and stories to tell if one asks the right questions.  Hers is a beauty that cloaks itself in misdirection, but is all the more rewarding for those who persevere.  She doesn’t just hand it out, so to speak.

So yeah, my friends say she’s ugly.  But I don’t care.  It’s their loss.  I’m in love.

                                                                     de Kooning: A Retrospective’ is on display at MoMA until January 9.


Join our mailing list to receive news from Full Stop:

You can also help by donating.

  • Hallymune

    Dude, i respect your ability to love a woman for what’s inside. Men like you can never be found anywhere else. Kudos! I hope you have a great relationship with your girl 🙂

  • Simple Girl

    I wish I too had met a guy like you…. messy girl

  • Apoorva

    Where can I find a guy like you?

    • Nedsby

      Me too

  • Carol

    Growing up no one flat out said i was ugly,, but their actions spoke volumes as no one wanted to sit with me on the bus or at the breakfast/lunch tables an lots of cringing if someone got assigned to be my study partner.

    this is part of why i do not like anyone beyond friends. i can already imagine the comments an crap he’d get from his friends an family. so i’ll be known as the crazy dog or cat lady.

    kudos to you for looking with your 3rd eye(your heart) instead of your eyes

    – take care

    • lolly

      Carol are you saying you have never had a bf before? Why would you not want to experience the wonderful feeling of love just because a man may have jerk freinds? As far as family usually families just go with the flow and only reject people based on personality flaws or something ignorant like race

  • Peace_Maker

    dude , i have the same problem but i think no one is perfect . as long as she really loves you and cares for you then you are a lucky man.
    and remember ” No one is perfect”.

  • Puk

    Its beautifully written, and kudos for finding a woman you love and not caring what your friends say.

    However no woman (or man for that matter) is without soul, and we all have a tale to tell. We just need that special someone who understands and listen.

    We like to tell ourselves that we are special and that the people we cherish are special – its just not everyone who are “smart enough” to perceive it. I don’t think thats true.

    I think its a matter of taste and being able to relate. Your friends will probably never see her as you do, and although it is frustrating they probably never will. Even if you introduce her and they get to know her better, most of them probably still wouldn’t find her appealing, simply because she’s not their taste and they don’t relate to her character as you do.

    These “artsy ones that want you to think they’re so deep” are real living beings as well, and probably have more than you perceive inside them just like you feel your girlfriend has. One persons trash is another ones treasure!

    Point being: There is no such thing as an “empty” or “fake” person, everyone just need “the right person” to see them for what they are deep inside.